First dates can be stressful. And coming up with first date questions without sounding like you are interrogating your date can be tough
My Irrational Fears Of Dating
My Irrational Fears Of Dating
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not bitter or jealous over my single status. I actually quite like it. I’ve always been quite an impulsive, unpredictable, free-spirited kinda gal. Being single allows me to stay that way. Well sort of. You see in my younger years I tried really hard to fit in. As we all do. It took me a really long time to realise and accept that fitting in didn’t fit with being me and it was quite ok to break the mould and be whoever and whatever I want to be.
Unfortunately, part of fitting in or going through the process of rebelling against fitting in made me pick all the wrong boys. My goodness, I was spectacular at that. Add in having spent most of my life around very bad, toxic relationships, I didn’t know or understand what a good relationship actually was. I missed the vital point that a good relationship would involve me being the very best version or myself and being encouraged and supported in being that person.
How do I know if someone can have a conversation with me about the things I like? Will they be sympathetic when I tell them I feel like an algorithm is trying to ruin my life (or business) even though they may not even know what an algorithm is? Or will they laugh at me in a patronising manner because I’m just a girl and should be more bothered about making the dinner? Will they expect me to make dinner every damn day? Will they think I’m a weak female because I don’t know where the oil goes in my car but equally I don’t think I know where the iron is kept in my own house? Yet I can go to work and stand up in front of hundreds of people and deliver a hard-hitting speech without batting an eyelid. I also own the company by the way.
Settling For Less Than Perfect
I’m Not Attractive/Thin/Young/Clever Enough
You get the picture.
There Must Be Something Wrong With Me
Now I know better. It’s you with the problem, not me sunshine!
No One Wants Me
I’m Never Going To Get Married
Perhaps keep the Pinterest board a secret for now.
He Might Be A Vegan
Ok, I slipped that one in there, but yes, a vegan could kill me. They eat a lot of nut products and I’m allergic. By the way, if you laughed at the allergy to nuts in the context of a blog about dating, then you need to leave the room. You’re a bad person.
I’m also a meat eater. A nice juicy steak is up there on my list of favourite foods. How do I go to dinner with a vegan? ‘Oh hey there, please don’t eat anything nut based, ever, whilst I sit here and order a 10oz Sirloin, cooked medium rare.’ It’s hardly going to set the date up well, is it?
Therefore that fear is not irrational. Do you see the difference now between real fears and irrational ones?
He Might Want Kids
If you go for younger men, then you either get called a cougar or they want babies. I have several friends that have had babies, in their second time around relationships, in their 40’s. How nice for them. For me, that is my idea of hell on earth. I’m sorry. And I don’t mean it to offend anyone that loves kids and wants millions of them. I just don’t. I have one and that is enough for me. Quite enough.
Likewise older men. I can cope with your wrinkles and lack of abs, but again I don’t want your babies. And I may not want your other kids in my house for too long if it involves doing battle with your ex-wife. She’s your problem, not mine. So no bitter exes, please. And visa versa. I’m not joining your pity party about how hard done to you are by her. Again, your choice.
I’m still undecided if babies are an irrational fear.
He Might Want/Need To Live In My House
Mr Perfect Is Out There
So now he just needs to show up. If you happen to know where he is then please do feel free to point him out. Although I’m ok over here watching Corrie and having serious conversations about the latest Snapchat updates with the teenager in the house. And genuinely worrying that vegans can kill me!
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