First dates can be stressful. And coming up with first date questions without sounding like you are interrogating your date can be tough
Are You Feeling Stuck?
Are You Feeling Stuck?
The cold days and long dark nights do make this time of year drag out to what feels like forever. As if it’s not bad enough that there are 972 days in January, it’s also cold, dark, damp and miserable. And February isn’t much better either. Also after the new years’ resolutions have passed us by, it’s this time of year when we start to question what we are doing in our lives. Are we achieving anything? Or are we just stuck in the same life and same routine we’ve been churning out for years? Often too many years of feeling stuck.
The world is still a crazy place and it feels like it’s been spiralling for some time now. One thing after another. Like we are stuck in an endless news cycle of the same story on repeat over and over again.
Why Are You Feeling Stuck?
It’s important to recognise these feelings of being stuck and what they actually mean to you. Are you just bored with your life? Or is there an underlying mental health situation you aren’t dealing with? Do you feel stuck in a situation? It’s important to really drill down and be clear about why you may be feeling this way in order to deal with it properly. Is it something that you can take steps to overcome yourself or do you need proper medical help? If it is something that you can take action over yourself then I’ve come up with a few ways you may be stuck and what to do about them. If you need medical help then please, please seek it now. Stop waiting for something to change or some miracle intervention. Make the call now.
Despite what the positivity guru types might try telling us, it’s impossible to think positive thoughts and all nice stuff all the time. It’s actually exhausting trying to control your mind to that extent. We all have negative thoughts at some point. Usually daily. It’s important to address negative thoughts, fears, anxiety, to deal with the root cause. Problems don’t just go away. But we are usually more afraid of taking the action than the actual outcome. So we dwell inside our own minds in the negative self-talk. This only becomes a problem when it’s constant. The feeling of being stuck is a mindset that can be changed through action.
Feeling Stuck In A Situation
Do you hate your job or your house? Or maybe even your partner! It’s important to remember that it’s perfectly normal, indeed healthy, to outgrow anything in our lives. Our lives shouldn’t remain the same day in day out forever. Outgrowing anything is a development and what we need to progress in life. If things stay exactly the same then it becomes boring and stagnant. When I look through the decades of my own life, every single one has been different. I’ve had different jobs, different homes, lived in different countries, different partners, totally different outlooks on life. And as chaotic as some might think that all sounds, it’s what keeps us from having the feeling of being stuck. Change is good even though many of us fear it.
If you’ve outgrown your current situation and that is what is leading you to feeling stuck then look at the different elements that are making you feel this way. Is your dream job not so dreamy ten years later? Is your perfect partner a pain in the arse after 15 years and does your relationship feel like hard work every day? Perhaps you no longer love where you live. This is all perfectly normal and situations you can leave or change. It just usually can’t happen overnight and takes a bit of planning. But taking the first steps to not feeling stuck anymore will lighten your load and start to make you feel better. Even tiny baby steps are progress.
Fear Of Judgement
This is a biggie because we all forget so often that other peoples opinions really don’t matter. If you’re holding back on doing something you really want to do for fear of what the neighbours might say, then give your head a wobble and crack on. The truth is, they may notice but they may not. And they probably won’t care.
When I first started blogging I did it anonymously, which was probably a good idea at the time given what I wrote about. I did feel that people I knew would judge me because it wasn’t a big deal back then. I feared their judgement. But now with social media content and blogging becoming more mainstream and people knowing what it is, I can make a living from it and quite frankly, if anyone wants to pass judgement then I’ll just send them my bills to pay. I love what I do and that’s all that matter.
So long as your decision isn’t causing harm to anyone then it’s your decision and you should always do what is right for you.
Overwhelm and Comparison
Unfortunately, as much of the great things our overly connected lives bring us, they can also force us to compare ourselves to every stranger out there “living their best lives”. Everything in life nowadays seems to be more. More hours worked. More nights out, holidays, stuff to buy. It’s never-ending. And overwhelming. We can feel stuck just by trying to keep up with our daily lives. And the Jones’.
If you are comparing yourself to anyone else, stop! You can’t and shouldn’t compare apples to oranges. I have a friend who has 10 kids. Just watching her make breakfast for all her kids makes me feel exhausted. I have another friend who seems to be on holiday somewhere fancy every other week and constantly posts photos of her “making memories”. She’s usually very drunk and I doubt she has any memory of wherever she is, hence all the photos.
The point is, we all have different lives and that is what makes us all unique. I could drive myself mad comparing myself to my friend with the 10 kids wondering why I don’t get as much done in a day as her, or the other friend, wondering why I don’t have 20 holidays a year. Do I want to be them? No. Do I want to live their lives? Absolutely not!
If you are feeling stuck because of daily life overwhelm then look at what day to day things you can ditch. Do you have to do every single little thing that you do? Probably not. Or get help if you can. The robot hoover is the best thing I have ever bought. One less time-consuming job to do. If someone or something else can do a task for you, then stop doing it yourself.
Set A Target, Set A Date And Take Action
Once you’ve narrowed down what it is that is making you feel stuck, take action! Make a plan, decide what it is you want to achieve, put a deadline on it and then start taking the required steps towards positive action.
There is no point in setting yourself a goal like moving house or getting a new job without knowing how you are going to do that. There’s also no point putting it out there to the never-never. If you want to stop feeling stuck then you need to take action and do whatever is required to get yourself unstuck.
But don’t beat yourself up if you don’t wake up tomorrow feeling great or if you’ve still got the same snoring idiot next to you. Or if you have to go to the same mind-numbing job. Unless you are being held captive or in prison then all those situations can be changed. You can escape them. Just take the first step. It won’t hurt. I promise.
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